Forgiven to Forgive
Why is it so hard to forgive? It's clear from the passage in Matthew 18:21-35 that our struggle to forgive is not new.
21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times." (Matt 18:21-22)
At least in the example Jesus illustrates, the person in the wrong seeks forgiveness. But, so often we perceive a wrong while the other party sees no fault in themselves. And we are stuck - waiting for an apology we'll never receive, holding on to hurt, anger, and bitterness that we may not have even expressed openly. Just before Peter raised his question about forgiveness, Jesus was telling the disciples how to handle disagreement and conflict.
15 “If your brother or sister sins against you go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. 16 But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ 17 If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a Gentile or a tax collector. " (Matt. 18:15-17)
If someone has hurt you, tell them privately first. Then, if they can not see your perspective, involve others openly - nothing should be whispered behind anyone's back. If nothing works, the person is to be treated like "a Gentile or tax collector". Jesus treated Gentiles and tax collectors with love and compassion. Jesus' hope and goal was that the community would not be broken apart by inevitable disagreements. Jesus promised his own presence to bind us together.
20 "For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” (Matt. 12:20)
Moving forward may take an act of God. Fortunately, God has already "acted" by forgiving us. We are to do likewise.
God sees the whole picture, and we can trust God for both justice and mercy.
